Roadway Observations (And Responses!)
So many stupid things happen on the roads around here. These are some of my observations, reactions, and suggestions:
Your car may be more KD then I make in a lifetime, but your stereo sounds like crap. Turn it down. Mine sounds 500% better. (It’s stock, but its Bose. Sounds nice.)
My lights are brighter than yours. I also have more to flash at you. Expect the favor to be returned after I let you pass.
I’m very proud you can smoke a cigarette and ride a motorcycle. Let’s hope you can make that turn to HWY 30 without getting ashes in your eye and causing an accident.
If your kids do not sit down they will be turned into projectiles if there is an accident. The sad truth of the matter is that they more than likely would not survive such an accident. There is no “Enshallah” to this. This is the side effect of you being a complete moron and refusing to put your kids in seatbelts, car seats, and for refusing to child lock the windows and close the sunroof. Don’t blame God for your failure as a parent.
Why are you driving leaning at an angle? It looks like you want your upper body in the passenger seat and your rear end in the drivers seat. Are you lonely? Do you need a riding buddy?
Speeding past me and almost clipping my car is deserving of the rude gestures I may shine your way once you pass. I’m guessing that only I have committed the crime though.
Doing donuts (doughnuts) in the middle of the road is not classy. Remember to replace the nice tires on your Porsche/BMW/Etc with proper Z-Rated tires so you don’t blow them out while driving down the road at 240+. Regular tires are not made for that speed. I hope you don’t find that out the hard way. Losing control of your car from the tires busting at that speed will lead to your death. I know, I’ve had it happen to someone I knew and they were only at 140. Don’t become another statistic.
Yelling at women walking down the street is funny. I love to see them walk in terror away from you. Maybe you should learn lines other then “Talle ya moza” or something to that effect.
Doing your makeup and driving a stick shift is truly a talent. Unfortunately it may possibly jab out your eye in case of an accident. Do it at home, sheesh.
If your windows are tinted jet black and you have a pair of jet black shades on, at night, the odds of you getting into an accident grow exponentially. Psst! We can’t see you at night through tinted windows. Take em off Mr. MIB.
That’s all I have for right now. After alot of driving today, I could use a no-road break for a while.
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Nice once :p